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This post was first published on 2/19/2014. I felt it was worthy of a re-post. I always seem to struggle through the month of February. In my mind it’s a small month that is packed with stuff – National Freedom Day, Groundhog Day, Rosa Parks Day, National Wear Red Day, Lincoln’s Birthday, Susan B Anthony Birthday, President’s Day, and let’s add Arkansas’ Daisy Gatson Bates Day. In spite of all the listed holidays, February is still known to be the month of love. Valentine’s Day seems to over-shadow all the others. My struggle with this month of love is that I am a romantic disguised as a cynic. I make jokes about the best thing about Valentine’s Day is the day after when the candy can be bought at 75% off. I send funny cards and reserve all my goosheyness for my great-grandbabies who loved getting my little gifts declaring my love for them. If you pull back the mask and look underneath you will find that I’m not just a romantic, I am utterly and completely hopeless. I am also a realist...

Definition of End-Stage Alcoholism Touching on a few points.

If you’ve been following my blog for a while you will know that I have a love/hate relationship with Valentine’s Day. In my opinion, the best part is that on the 15 th of Feb, all the Valentine candy will be half price. That’s a decent reward for enduring all the syrupy sweet advertising and romantic chick flicks. It’s really isn’t that I’m not romantic because I truly am a romantic at heart. But, I don’t need a specific day to remember that I should be romantic to the people I love. Well… I know it’s not just about the romance; it’s really about expressing your feelings for those you love. I like to send little cards to my grandchildren and others who have a place in my heart. It’s fun for them to receive a little something in the mail. Would I like to get a bouquet of peonies today? Well, of course I would. They are my favorite flower and I’d love to get them ANY day of the year. Although it would be nice, it is not a requirement for me to receive anything on this day. I would reall...

When I first started writing the blog, I had already done months’ worth of research in order to get answers that were written in a format that I could understand. It didn’t happen overnight. I recall how I came upon each subject for research in  The Immortal Alcoholic’s Wife . However, there was a topic that I just couldn’t get my head around. The idea of recovery for the people who care about the alcoholic seemed to escape me. In my mind the only way for a spouse to recover from all that nonsense was to just get a divorce – leave him/her – kick ‘em to the curb! But there are also parents and children and friends and partners and co-works… the list goes on. What would be the answer to recovery for everyone? As time went on, I discovered that the families and friends may need recovery just as much as the alcoholic. That’s why Al-Anon was created. It was to provide courage, strength and hope to the families and friends of alcoholics. There are 12 steps and 12 traditions that provide ...

This post is dedicated to Annette. Our backgrounds are very similar even though you are much younger. Our timelines would follow the same path up to the age that you are right now. The two paths, yours and mine, do NOT have to continue in the same direction. You can go a different direction than I did and avoid much of the chaos that I experienced. You told me that you can see your future in my past. That’s good because if you can see it then you have the ability to change it. One of the reasons I write these posts and my books is to give people an idea of what it’s like if they do as I do. I hope they read what I write and say “I’m not going to be that person.” I want people to have a better life than the one I choose. I’m not saying you can’t have a life if you stay with your alcoholic. You, most certainly can have a very fulfilling and happy existence in spite of the obstacles that the alcoholic may throw up as road blocks. It’s not easy. It takes work, time, and planning to get to ...