sutton041

It's that time of year. It's hurricane, tornadoes and cyclones... Below is a post I like to share around this time of year. It's a re-post so please keep that in mind as you read about Riley and I waiting out a tornado. Tornado warning… (5/3/2011) When the Emergency Broadcast came over the television announcing that we were under a Tornado Warning, I gathered my stuff – blankets, pillows, laptop, water, etc – and put it in a secure place in my bathroom. I was ready. Riley was in his rocking chair watching his usual NCIS. I told him we needed to get his bathroom ready in case the worst came about. He just said – “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” And being the good little caretaker that I am – I stocked his bathroom. Both the bathrooms are small and there is really only room for one person in each. As the night wore on, I settled in and listened. Wind, rain, hail, more rain, quiet, wind and more wind – but there was no rumble. I was waiting for the rumble sound of an oncoming trai...

It’s been a pretty busy and heart breaking few months for me. I was told that I could not have the surgery I need for another six months. That’s disappointing since I’ve been working towards having this for more than a year. It would have been life changing at just the right time. It will still be life changing, but at a different time and place. I was forced to move from my big old farmhouse onto a sofa bed in my daughters’ living room. My daughter is working more than 1400 miles away and I am care taking her two pit bulls (who hate my spaniel) while she is off earning a living. I want to move to Florida but my funds have been exhausted because, as a lot of seniors know, my income has been cut in half since the death of Riley. I was in the process of having my teeth fixed when Riley died and I had to stop in the middle due to lack of funds. My best friend of 54 years is very ill and she may not be around long enough for me to go visit her one last time. T O TOP ALL THAT OFF – t...

  Since Riley’s death, I’ve had a hard time focusing on a single goal. I call it “floundering.” There are lots of things than need my attention, but I can’t seem to do one thing to completion, but rather switch back and forth, back and forth. I wake up in the morning and say to myself… “Self, you will do something today that is positive and will set the course for more positive things. Today you will complete just ONE thing.” Self listens to me – for about half a nano-second. Then it’s a little of this and a little of that. Back and forth… back and forth. Back in the day, when Riley went to rehab, and there were lots of those times, I would sit in the empty, quiet house and think about all the things I needed to do. I made a mental list. Followed by a written list. Followed by organizing and categorizing the list thereby creating more lists. I would hold the list in my hand, smooth it out on the desktop, fold it into fourths, turn it over, unfold it, then tell myself I would start ...