sutton041

There comes a time in most alcoholic’s journey when they get sick and it appears that the end is near. Questions come up about liver function, brain atrophy, and other such ailments. Usually the alcoholic is hospitalized and sometimes, comatose. Eventually, the question will come up that goes something like this, “Would you like to have hospice step in with his care?” What they are asking is do you want to prolong this life no matter what that life may be? Or, do you want to remove yourself from the life cycle and let nature take its course? It’s hard to say “Just let him/her die” no matter what the situation or who the alcoholic is in relationship to you. No one wants to feel that they’ve turned a blind eye and essentially killed a person as a result. Our basic instinct is to survive at all costs. Prolonging life is an inherent part of our being. To go against that can sometimes be impossible. I believe there are several questions that must be answered before making such a life-alteri...

I don’t know why it always surprises me that Riley continues to be immortal. A few days ago we were told that he had only hours to live. The next day he rallied and he could live another year or more. We are living on a see-saw with Riley. End-stage liver failure is a horrible way to die. I watch him as he struggles for words that fit the meaning of what he wants to say. I see the confusion on his face when I don’t understand what he’s talking about. Often he will be in mid-sentence and begin quoting phrases from books that he has read in the past. Riley cannot control his bowels or his bladder. He doesn’t seem to have any cognitive awareness of his lack of continence. However, he will pick at his diaper until he can get it loose and remove it from his body. He then wants no covering and just wants it to be in the breeze -- so to speak. He has other people clean the feces from his buttocks, change his clothing, and give him a sponge bath. There is no longer any sitting in his favorite ...

I often hear people telling me that I can’t possibly be a good caregiver for Riley because of all our past history. I’m told that it makes me hostile and that he would be better off in a nursing home. I don’t agree with any of that nonsense. I made a commitment to both my daughter and to Riley to “see this through” to the end. That’s what I intend to do. When Riley returned home after having been in a nursing home for a week so that I could get some respite, his health had greatly declined. I called the hospice office and told them I believed that Riley had a bladder infection and that I needed a prescription for something to treat it. It took more than two weeks for someone to come get a urine sample for testing. Then it took about five days for the lab to report that he did, in fact, have a urinary tract infection. We received the medication late the next afternoon. While we were waiting for the medication, Riley became increasingly sick. By the time I got the first dose into him, he...