sutton041

Wow! I looked at my calendar and we’re almost done with January! I’ve been very busy working on the sequel to Immortal Alcoholic’s Wife and my new book, “Huh?” ABCs of Understanding Women , that I have been amiss at keeping up with the blog posting. I do apologize for that. I’ve also been plotting out my book tour and adding all the new locations onto the map. I have a nifty little program that plans the best route for hitting all my stops in an organized manner. It’s the coolest thing. So far, it has me going to Florida then coming back to Virginia for a break and then going north as far as Maine. I can’t wait for that fresh lobster. I’m going to be including some mini-seminars along the way. There will be free admission with the purchase of two books. More details and a calendar will be posted when the plans are finalized. Topics for the mini-seminars are going to be what is suggested by you, my readers. If you have a topic you would like covered, please post it in the comments. Als...

Live, Live, Live… When you are growing up you think of your life as being “normal.” But when you get older, you realize that the standards and attitudes of those around you have shaped how you see the world and how you live your life. My mother was a firm believer of living each day as though it were your last. Of course, she meant that I shouldn’t wear dirty socks because I might not have a chance to change them if today were my last day. The words I still have in my head go something like… “Don’t waste time, these are minutes you will never be able to live over again.” I don’t think I really appreciated that sentiment until recently. There are people in this world, people who read my blog, who wouldn’t do well in my mother’s world. They believe that they are living each day if they can simply get through the day without conflict. I see that as putting one foot in front of the other without looking at the path. I guess that’s what I’ve been doing over the past few years. I’ve just bee...

There comes a time in most alcoholic’s journey when they get sick and it appears that the end is near. Questions come up about liver function, brain atrophy, and other such ailments. Usually the alcoholic is hospitalized and sometimes, comatose. Eventually, the question will come up that goes something like this, “Would you like to have hospice step in with his care?” What they are asking is do you want to prolong this life no matter what that life may be? Or, do you want to remove yourself from the life cycle and let nature take its course? It’s hard to say “Just let him/her die” no matter what the situation or who the alcoholic is in relationship to you. No one wants to feel that they’ve turned a blind eye and essentially killed a person as a result. Our basic instinct is to survive at all costs. Prolonging life is an inherent part of our being. To go against that can sometimes be impossible. I believe there are several questions that must be answered before making such a life-alteri...

I turned 69 years old yesterday. I got up, showered, and dressed as though I was going to a party. The party was at my house and I had only a few internet and telephone guests. Physically, I was the only one in attendance and it was an awesome day. The best birthday I’ve had in many, many years. At the end of the day, I sat back and thought “How did I get so lucky?” I have three beautiful great-grandchildren, a grandson and his wife, a daughter, brothers, nieces and nephews, sisters-in-law and a variety of other family and friends. I also have a man in my life that makes me smile. I never realized that I could be in love at this stage of my life. I always said “When my husband is gone, I never want to be involved with another man.” My life with Riley was so painfully heart-breaking that I couldn’t fathom the idea of putting myself into a position of vulnerability again. But… here I am… I must be crazy out of my mind. Riley’s first love priority was his booze du jour. So each time he to...

I was looking at Riley’s death certificate and saw that the cause of death was cirrhosis. I stared at those words and thought about the pride with which Riley always said his liver regenerated and was not the cause of any of his ailments. In fact, even at the end, he would not admit that alcohol had anything to do with his inability to be an independent person. In his mind he believed he was getting better and would soon be able to move into an apartment in town and away from my nagging and spying. I always wished him luck with meeting his goal. The liver is a miraculous organ. It is also deceptive. As long as the liver has any healthy cells it can regenerate new cells. But if the percentage of bad cells out-numbers the percentage of good cells… the liver will continue to die through hardening of all the cells. One day the patient can display all the typical symptoms of liver failure complete with extreme jaundice as to make the person appear iridescent and the next day, have almost no...

It’s that time again. It happens every year. “It” meaning the holiday season. Of course Christmas merchandise was put out before Halloween so the “season” actually started a while ago. This is both a horrible and a wonderful time of year. It all depends on where you are in your life and the circumstances of your environment. I’ve had holiday seasons from both ends of the spectrum – awful and delightful – sad and happy – grateful and not so much. But, I’ve always managed to make something about each one unique and special. I’m an optimist. When I’m having a bad holiday, I try to tell myself that next year will be better. Sometimes it actually is better and sometimes I have to repeat my mantra of “next year it will be better.” This year brings a different kind of Thanksgiving for me. Since my family will not be celebrating a feast of turkey until Saturday, I’m left to accept invitations from other friends. There are three – count ‘em – THREE dinners that I’ll be attending this year. I’m ...

When a husband dies, people express their condolences in an attempt to comfort the grieving widow. In turn, the widow gets through one day at a time and mourns for the part of her that no longer exists. In some cases, it takes years for the widow to come to terms with her loss and get back to the business of living a full and productive life. Alcoholics remain on this earth, but die in the mind and heart of the spouse far before they take their last breath. When the death occurs, the grieving process has already started and/or often times it has been completed. It may seem that the spouse is cold-hearted or unfeeling that her/his partner is now gone, but the truth is that the process can sometimes be reaching its end before the actual death occurs. That seems to be the case in my adjustment from being a wife to a widow. Years ago I accepted the fact that my husband had left me in favor of his mistress – Ms Aristocrat Vodka – or Ms Vodie as I call her. His alliance to her left me withou...