sutton041

I often hear people telling me that I can’t possibly be a good caregiver for Riley because of all our past history. I’m told that it makes me hostile and that he would be better off in a nursing home. I don’t agree with any of that nonsense. I made a commitment to both my daughter and to Riley to “see this through” to the end. That’s what I intend to do. When Riley returned home after having been in a nursing home for a week so that I could get some respite, his health had greatly declined. I called the hospice office and told them I believed that Riley had a bladder infection and that I needed a prescription for something to treat it. It took more than two weeks for someone to come get a urine sample for testing. Then it took about five days for the lab to report that he did, in fact, have a urinary tract infection. We received the medication late the next afternoon. While we were waiting for the medication, Riley became increasingly sick. By the time I got the first dose into him, he...

I received the following letter from a reader and it moved me to a point where I knew I had to share this with my readers. If you read my blog, then you know the frustration of trying to help someone when all help seems futile. Please take the time to listen to the song and follow along with the lyrics included below. -- Linda Hi Linda, My younger brother has struggled with an addiction to heroin for about 6 years. It has ruined his character, destroyed his self-control, and robbed him of all of his money and possessions. Our whole family has tried to help him recover through several different rehabilitation services, but every attempt to save him from his addiction seemed to fail. At one point, he begged for money living on the streets as we let him try to find his “Rock bottom,” but we realized this wasn’t going to heal him or improve his situation. We eventually tracked him down and we haven’t given up hope that he will change. I know in your line of work, you are familiar with hund...

I believe strongly that knowledge is the key to survival. It goes right along with knowledge equating to power. The more you know the more powerful you can be. I suspect that Riley’s cancer has returned. There are physical indications that tell me that something is “off”. It really doesn’t matter if the cancer is back or not. He is already in hospice for end-stage liver disease and a confirmation that his cancer has returned will not change that. He will not get treatment for the cancer both because he is in hospice and he has stated that he wants no more chemo or radiation. So, really, what’s the point in putting him through the round of testing (which takes months) to determine if any Tommy the Tumors have returned? A few weeks ago, Riley was in a nursing home for five days while I had a little respite. When he returned, he told me that he had not been given his medication correctly. I thought he was just talking nonsense until I observed his behavior. He definitely was off his meds....

Last week, Alea, my daughter and her friend went to the Isle of Wight Animal Shelter. They weren’t looking to adopt but they just wanted to visit with the animals and see the facility.  A kind-hearted attendant gave them a tour of the facility and explained the purpose of each separated area. When she returned home she told me that she could not ever do that again. She had been thinking about volunteering, but after the tour she realized that she just wanted to take all the animals home and give them a good life. Besides there just wasn’t any room in her schedule for much of anything other than work and taking care of home stuff. I asked her what she liked the most about the shelter. Her response was that she liked the part for the unusual animals. Her favorite animal was the panther. We couldn’t imagine anyone taking a panther as a kitten and trying to raise it as a domesticated animal. Panthers should be free to do what panthers do. Behind and to the side of our house is all dark...

One-on-One Visit Snafu! As many of you may know, I offer One-on-One sessions with me through the Linda's Front Porch website. Over the weekend I found out that the application I was using for this scheduling was not working correctly. I did not receive notification when someone wanted to schedule time so those people became lost somewhere out there in cyber-sphere. I never received any notification of the requested visit and have no way of finding out exactly who got lost. I have removed the app and am going to a more simplified system. Just send me an e-mail to LindasFrontPorch@outlook.com with the word VISIT in the subject line. In the e-mail tell me your preferred date and time. Also provide an alternate in case the requested time in not open. Since I can't tell who was lost, I'm offering 60 minutes for $20 instead of the regular 60 minutes for $30. That's a savings of $10 off the regular price. This offer is good ONLY through July 18th, 2015.  OARS F&F Group on...

I’ve learned a lot about life in general over the past 60+ years. I learned this lessons by experience and not just because someone said or warned me about something. The things I learned are from the University of Life in the Real World and, also, the College of Alcoholic Insanity in Chaosville. Some of the lessons are very simple, others more complicated. The simple and easy to understand ones like, “If it’s too good to be true, it’s too good to be true,” were the hardest to remember. I’ve fallen into that trap more times than I can remember. When Riley was sober for a period of time and seemed to finally understand what alcohol was doing to his life, I would be happy. Read more »

There was a comment on the Definition of End-Stage post asking me if Riley were dead yet. It reminded me of a friend who used to call about once a week and ask, “Is he dead?” After answering her with a resounding NO! we could continue to discuss how Riley was doing. Read more »